REVIEW: BLOODLUST ZOMBIES (2011)

For those of you who are semi-avid fans of adult films, or even just peruse youporn.com, youjizz.com, or one of the other many sites on the internet that offers clips of free porn varying in length and quality-you probably have heard of or have unknowingly watched a clip of Alexis Texas and that bubbly, beautiful ass that generally would not be on the rear of a blonde Caucasian girl hailing from-you guessed it-Texas. Alexis Texas, porn star found from the makers of the adult film series Shane’s World while working at a bar in October of 2006, first got her start in Shane’s World’s College Amateur Tour in Texas. From there she went on to work in some Bang Bros. productions, then on to L.A. to work in the adult film industry full-time.

Alexis Texas doing what she does best...

Alexis Texas (real name Thea Alexis Samper) will not be the first porn-star whom has thrown on some clothes (more attire than is usually required) and given a shot at acting in a low-budget, or even big-budget horror film. I don’t mind porn stars taking a stab at acting in horror films, as long as they do what they are known for and good at- removing some clothing at some point during the movie because let’s be honest-Most of them cannot act worth a lick! If the scene in the film does not involve a strip tease of some sort or a steamy sex scene- viewers may be in for a very bumpy ride while dialogue is painstakingly delivered. Luckily, viewers of Bloodlust Zombies will get some Alexis Texas nudity, some sexy removal of clothing, and plenty of sexual innuendo all tossed in the mix with vulgar humor and zombies munching human flesh. Horror flicks paired with porn stars seems to be a trend that Breaking Glass Pictures and its sister horror label Vicious Circle Films has started to fall into. Granted, as far as I know, it is only their 2nd film to star an adult film sensation (Tori Black in Half Moon was their 1st, I believe), but throwing an adult star in the cast of a low-budget horror flick will only enhance its nudity factor, if even that.

one of the more bloodier scenes with that awful blood

Our story’s plot revolves around a military weapons manufacturer that has created a chemical that, when injected into animals such as the facility’s lab cat, the creature is turned into an aggressive, homicidal, carnivorous, zombie-like, killing machine. While the head honcho at the facility is banging what seemed to be just the secretary, accidentally broadcasting the hump-o-thon over the phone’s intercom service, the scientists accidentally knock over the vials of infected blood, breaking some of them all over the floor of the secured bio-hazard workspace.

zombies or strippers?

Thinking the lab is secured, the scientists get infected by the cat and from here on out-it’s your standard low-budget, direct-to-video. lackluster zombie flick. Yeah, another zombie flick. To be honest with everyone, I am totally fu**ing sick of zombies. I think that they have been commercialized beyond belief and have already saturated the horror market. The last zombie film that really moved me and had me thinking I was watching a movie first and a zombie film second was Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later, which many will argue is not even a traditional zombie flick. I really don’t see what else one can do to spice up the genre, besides doing what director/writer Dan Lantz did and throw a porn star into the mix. Well, having Alexis Texas in the film may have just generated some buzz with those familiar with the adult film industry or peak the interest of those hoping to glimpse some steamy sex scenes or gratuitous nudity, but for a seasoned veteran of the horror genre Bloodlust Zombies was more of the same done with a halfheartedly.

plenty of these to go around in the film

I was hoping there would be a bit of eye-candy to take away from the run-of-the-mill plot and less than acceptable CGI and low-budget special effects, which there was, but aside from that the only thing going for this movie was a bit of sexually-laced humor from one of the film’s more obnoxious characters, Darren (Adam Danoff), who as one of the employees at the company was thrown in the film as one of the many characters to provide comic-relief. The film definitely had more moments of humor, whether intended or not, than it did horror, scares, or gore.

Bloodlust Zombies was about as good as a film generally gets that has a porn star with top billing, a no-name cast besides Alexis Texas and her impressive porn career (as well as cast in Fred Olen Ray’s Bikini Frankenstein), and a next to nothing budget. The film was far less painful to watch than I had previously thought it to be. Thankfully, the movie moved along at a pretty quick pace, only dragged on a few times and that was mostly because the dialogue delivered was going on a bit too long for anyone to take seriously or find much humor in. The cliche sexual references were ever present and there were scarce moments of genuine acting and only a small amount of scenes of gore that are barely worth mentioning.

apparently zombies strip their tops off before craving flesh

One aspect of the movie that I could not get past was the recipe for fake blood that was used. I could not take it seriously. The color was lighter than most films’ scenes with blood and almost had a brightness to it. I really thought the crew was using some kind of paint, as it almost had a pinkish-tinge to it. The film was not only light on the gore, but when victims were bit and flesh was ripped off it looked as though the crew was trying to conserve the latex used for flesh being torn off. The horribly colored blood was also used sparingly during scenes in which the zombies tore flesh off from the victims’ necks.

Don't worry, Alexis-the film is almost over

Two things can somewhat save these type of low-budget, no-name horror flicks-wanton gore and nudity. I have never looked for high-caliber acting or an intriguing plot with these types of films-so work with what ya got. On some levels, director Dan Lantz did. He had a porn star and he gave her some scenes of nudity and portrayed her as sexually charged-up, but then digresses by having a fellow co-worker who showed an evident dislike for her go on a righteous speech on how Andrea (Texas) is a bright, young woman and should not be chasing after a man because he is older, rich and powerful-but instead fall for a man that loves her for her intellect and independence, as well as her beauty. Ok, Oprah Winfrey, enough with the feminism and lets get back to point of the film- to be entertained by some blood and guts. Oh wait, I forgot that there really was not any of those aspects within the film really worth mentioning.

an axe-wielding Alexis Texas

All in all, I really thought the film was going to be a far worse viewing than it was. It had high levels of cheesiness, that at times, were entertaining. The special effects were done with especially low-grade CGI and the organic effects were just a notch better than the digital ones (although I did kind of dig the finale with Texas which looked to be completely digital) and I did not hate this film. On some shameful level, I kind of had a soft spot in my rotting gut for it. I can’t really recommend the film, nor would I ever entertain the thought to purchase the movie (unless, of course, I was a completest for Alexis Texas flicks) but I can say it was a bad, low-budget film that was not agonizingly and painstakingly difficult to watch. Let’s not get this film confused with other films that are so bad they are good. Bloodlust Zombies does not fall into that category. I may have come to the point that I have seen so many bad, low-budget films that watching an Andy Sidaris action/spy film is becoming confused with watching a solid James Bond film. I am now going to go pop in Romero’s Night of the Living Dead so that I can remember what a great zombie film with minimal financial resources truly can turn out like.

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