Posts tagged “nudity

BLU-RAY REVIEW: NIGHTMARE WEEKEND (1985)

Screen Shot 2015-10-09 at 10.03.26 PMThe somewhat confusing and convoluted plot of NIGHTMARE WEEKEND starts off with a pretty loud bang when a couple of dudes try to break into a large house to steal some secret experimental data from a scientist. The first stud  (more…)


BLU-RAY REVIEW: THE LOST FILMS OF HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS (2013)

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Herschell Gordon Lewis is a legendary director, one that I have met and chatted with on more than one occasion, and could not be a nicer man around. Then one remembers that he has directed countless cult films such as BLOOD FEAST, TWO THOUSAND MANIACS!, COLOR ME BLOOD RED, and THE WIZARD OF GORE—And those are just (more…)


BLU-RAY REVIEW: LONG WEEKEND (1978)

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Director Colin Eggleston, more known for the police dramas he made for Crawford Productions, teamed up with legendary American-born screenwriter Everett De Roche, known for his entries into the  horror and thriller genres such as ROAD GAMES, RAZORBACK, HARLEQUIN, and PATRICK to create (more…)


BLU-RAY/DVD COMBO REVIEW: COUNTESS DRACULA (1971)

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The story taking place in medieval Europe about Countess Elisabeth Nadasdy, better known to horror fans and the rest of the world as Countess Bathory, focuses on the aging Countess and her lover Captain Dobi (played by character actor Nigel Green) as they start killing off young and beautiful virgins so she can bathe in their blood. The old and decrepit looking Countess, played by the vivacious and voluptuous Ingrid Pitt with lots of (more…)


BLU-RAY REVIEW: KID CANNIBUS (2014)

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The film KID CANNIBUS is based on the true story of Nate Norman (portrayed by Jonathan Daniel Brown), a teenage dropout that builds a massive multi-million dollar marijuana drug ring with his best friend Topher (Kenny Wormald) by legally traveling into Canada through the area where it borders Iowa and then buying large and felonious quantities of premium bud and sneaking it back across the border into Idaho to sell it. Sounds like a sweet and pretty (more…)


REVIEW: DRACULA 3D (2012)

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Director Dario Argento is one whom I have always had the utmost respect for. He has directed and shaped the genre of horror with his giallo-tinged/slasher films and supernatural gore-thrillers beginning with the first film I ever saw of his (more…)


DVD REVIEW: CROSS BEARER (2012)

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CROSS BEARER is a slasher film about a religious fanatic who takes some white bedsheets and wraps them around his head, making holes for the eyes, and bashes in sluts, drug addicts, hookers, strippers, and complete douchebags heads in while reciting biblical shit as he does it.

On a side note, there is one stripper (more…)


DVD REVIEW: CREEP VAN (2012)

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I popped in the dvd CREEP VAN, only a copy of the film because I was late in requesting a retail copy from the distributor. When the movie was sent to me they also included an advertisement made out of some foam cardboard-like material that had the cover and artwork on it (which was pretty cool) so I was stoked to see this film. I did not read anything about this film except that it was an independent, low-budget film from Michigan and had an awesome “Rape Van” on its cover: A Ford Econoline with blackened windows. This is the van that parents (more…)


DVD REVIEW: DEAR GOD NO! (2012)

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dear god noJames Bickert’s DEAR GOD NO! is a throwback to the drive-in and grindhouse fare that presently is having a resurgence of sorts with many filmmakers making throwback films that were usually in 2-run movie theaters and venues, as well as usually released on VHS and found in small “mom and pop” movie rental shops and of substandard quality. These films were the ones that I usually sought out as a young man because they generally had quite a bit of gore, blood, boobs, and bush. Remember, the three ‘B’s are essential when watching these types of movies and are crucial to my overall (more…)


BLU-RAY REVIEW: THE BUNNY GAME (2010)

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Bunny GameI am writing this review for Adam Rehmeier’s THE BUNNY GAME after having already interviewed the director and the lead actress, Rodleen Getsic, before having viewed the film. Taking the director’s suggestion, I watched the film around midnight with the volume raised pretty high. I really didn’t know what to expect with this film. I had heard that it was (more…)


INTERVIEW: DONALD F. GLUT talks Horror, Sci-Fi, and Superheroes!

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Maybe you have heard of director, writer, and producer Donald F. Glut. After all, he wrote the movie novelization for THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. But before Don was writing Sci-fi movie novelizations Don was busy making amateur horror and science-fiction films (at the age of 9) featuring monsters, human monsters, and dinosaurs! Hell, why am I even wasting time telling you all about (more…)


BLU-RAY REVIEW: SHAME (2011)

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SHAMEThere are some movies that some viewers refer to as “misery porn”, a term more associated with literature than with movies, but something nonetheless prevalent in film and television. Misery porn is a story that focuses on bad things happening to people, usually without some good coming from it or any sort of lesson being learned. For instance, in director Mike Cahill’s ANOTHER EARTH, which some may refer to as misery porn, is a story that (more…)


REVIEW: COUNTESS DRACULA’S ORGY OF BLOOD (2004)

Countess Dracula's Orgy of BloodB-MOVIE MADNESS still continues….

My Glut-Fest continues as I then viewed COUNTESS DRACULA’S ORGY OF BLOOD (2004), another film shot on video and the second of the Dracula Trilogy that director Glut directed and wrote. If you read my prior two reviews of Don Glut’s flicks, you have a pretty good idea what you are going to be in store for with this one. The sequel to THE EROTIC RITES OF COUNTESS DRACULA, COUNTESS DRACULA’S ORGY OF BLOOD, definitely lives up to its title. (more…)


REVIEW: DINOSAUR VALLEY GIRLS (1996)

Dinosaur Valley GirlsIt’s B-Movie Madness time!

I first saw a Donald F. Glut film way back when I was reviewing movies for another website. It was one of the films sent to me and I think I only received it because no one else wanted to review it. Part of the reason may have been because it takes a certain type of person in a certain type of mood to enjoy and appreciate B-movies. Also, some are pretty awful and not very entertaining. Let’s find out where director Glut’s films fared that I had the chance to check out. (more…)


DVD REVIEW: ANTFARM DICKHOLE (2011)

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You may be wondering what the hell am I doing reviewing a film with a title like ANTFARM DICKHOLE. In fact, I would never in a million years have guessed that a film that has the nauseating compound word “dickhole” in it would be something I would even care to pop in the ol’ dvd player and watch in its entirety. But, alas, here is Shu reviewing a film from the infamous and somewhat legendary (in the metal community, anyways) Bill Zebub. Bill has directed a handful of films, most of them on very small budgets but on his own terms and answering to no studio or distributor. He is a truly independent filmmaker no matter what you think of any type of movie he has created. Granted, some of my favorite works he has made are a collection of interviews and commentaries from some highly influential names and bands in the metal community. In fact, some of the first “documentaries” on some of the more extreme metal bands, such as VENOM, CELTIC FROST, KING DIAMOND, and CANNIBAL CORPSE (all in interview form), came about because of Bill. I dug the way he filmed them, just a camcorder in hand with little to none production value. Unfortunately, some of his films were created in this same manner.

 

The one saving grace for most, if not all of Bill Zebub’s films is the nudity and raunchiness his films contain within them. When things lose momentum or the storyline gets dull, throw an attractive naked girl in front of the camera. Yeah, this style is very lowbrow, but so are his films, Sometimes, as with ANTFARM DICKHOLE, there is a social commentary slipped in there or a statement on society is made. Usually Zebub’s message is anti-Christian or anti-religion in general. If one is devoutly religious, I can’t imagine they would find anything within ANTFARM DICKHOLE enjoyable (or most horror, cult, or exploitation films).

 

So, lets get back to the dickhole of the antfarm. If the title does not already suggest it, the film is sleazy, low budget, filled with low-brow humor, a decent amount of nudity (full-frontal and rear), and has sarcastic one-liners and some humor with a bit of a bite.

 

The story starts out with a dude who has pre-mature ejaculation, as he explains it to his buddy (Bill Zebub), and then goes on to him whining about getting bullied while they are just chilling in the woods when all of a sudden a big European metalhead comes along and robs them and beats their asses. After all, the Nordic-looking Viking needed some beer money. After the boys are robbed, the shot cuts to a metal slut dancing to a strip-tease that really is not much of a tease because she bares her hairy-bush, breasts, and leaves only some sexy garter and lace stockings on. She starts blowing Ant-drew (Mike Nastri) and ants are suddenly crawling out of her mouth. I guess by crawling I mean fake plastic ants are spit out from her mouth. Yeah, I am talking about special effects lacking anything special whatsoever.

 

I now know exactly where this movie is going—–straight to the trashcan for its gratuitous nudity, trashcan effects, and skid row budget. The film’s scenes of dialogue did take some thought and effort, filled with sarcasm, puns, and colorful jokes but also has its share of cheeseball one-liners and sophomoric brand of comedy. At times, it got really old fast and even became painful to watch. It was especially painful to watch the 2nd and 3rd time. I came to realize just how awful lines of dialogue were delivered. Sadly, the director and “actor”, Bill Zebub (playing the role of Ant-Thony), gave the most believable performance in the whole film. He had more lines of dialogue than anyone in the film except for Nastri (He plays the main character Ant-drew, whom we get to see with a fake penis sticking out of his pants quite frequently with an ant popping out of it.)

 

The only aspect of the film that broke up some of the monotony of the comedic elements to it was the large amounts of full-frontal nudity and bush. It is nice to see a film that has metal sluts starring in it with unshaven snatch. None of the Hollywood glamour and silicone implants, tanned beauties with cleanly shaven pubic hairs and perfect complexions. ANTFARM DICKHOLE has regular women with curves, tattoos, not so perfect, sun-deficient skin with some spots of cellulite on the legs and booties. Yes, I am talking about real women.

 

As Ant-toin goes around masturbating to metal chicks, killing them as his killer ants slip out his dick and crawl onto the naked beauties and killing them (sorry, no graphic depictions of the deaths—only fake blood smeared on the body as the fake ants are strategically placed on breasts and other erogenous zones). This formula for the film reminds me of so many slasher films from the ‘80s and beyond. Almost every girl who gets naked, has sex, or is about to have an intimate moment gets killed by the ants. Bullies are not exempt from this either! If you are a douchebag the ants probably will kill you.

In one particular scene, a character and his lady are having a picnic in the woods (I think the whole film was made in a forest preserve of some kind) and the ants start attacking the male character. The female character is told to take off all her clothes because the ants are probably attracted to them. I chuckled at this ploy to get the girl to take all her clothes off, but to my disappointment, she only stripped down to bra and panties. In the next scene, another girl wearing a bikini takes all her clothes off and another hairy beaver is showcased. The scenes are filmed in the manner only a true pervert could capture when behind the camera. If anything, Bill (Zebub) has a future in making soft-core porno ala Russ Meyer-style.

 

Sadly, the film kept my attention only due to the fact that I was waiting to see what metal chick was going to get naked next. Yeah, when watching these type of low budget films I really only have excessive violence (or gore) and gratuitous nudity to peak my interest. Fortunately, ANTFARM DICKHOLE had an abundance of the latter. If one can sit through the movie to the hour mark, a really cool fight scene is filmed, complete with awesome metal soundtrack and a slow-motion battle sequence. After the T&A, this scene was the coolest.

 

This is my first Bill Zebub film that I have viewed and reviewed. I have a couple of others a fellow horror fan and writer gave to me because he refused to watch them, let alone review them for his website or the magazine he writes for. Apparently, the films were far too low below his level of decency or his standards. If any of you have read a handful of my reviews, you probably know by now that I have no standards. I will review a pile of dogshit sitting on an antique China plate with ornate gold trim and a sign next to it in elegant text stating “ART”, but just because it is called art does not mean it is either entertaining or profound. ANTFARM DICKHOLE is neither, but with its cool metal soundtrack, organized narrative and storyline, plethora of bush, booty, and breasts, and offbeat, vulgar humor—the film is not too bad a viewing. I also had a good time figuring out which metal bands’ t-shirt Bill would be wearing next. If anything, Bill has great taste in t-shirts.


REVIEW: FEROZZ: THE WILD RED RIDING HOOD (2010)

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As best as I can describe the plot of FEROZZ: THE WILD RED RIDING HOOD (2010), this sexually charged, highly erotic take on the classic tale of Little Red Riding Hood, is that is a young and attractive widow (fairly young and semi-attractive, as this may be up for debate) is protected from her very cruel and vicious mother-in-law by a relative who just so happens to practice some form of Satanism or witchcraft, all the while lusting after the old woman’s underage granddaughter.

 

Let’s put it this way-the film has tons of Latin women completely naked with full tufts of dark bush covering up their exquisite nether regions in varying forms of erotically filmed scenes outdoors frolicking in muddy rivers and lagoons, or even lakes (I am not exactly sure which bodes of water they are called), all the while telling the story of a very abusive and perversely cruel grandmother, Donya Zulma,  portrayed by male actor Francisco Garcia (CHAMACO), whom has had sex with her son, Lucio (Waldo Franco), whom is an alcoholic rapist (I guess I would be fucked up too if I had sex with my mother whom gave birth to my son whom is also my brother).  The cruel and incestuous grandmother loses Lucio one night after he rapes his wife at the dinner table, in front of her son and daughter, Dully (Raul Capote, EL GRITO) and Miranda (Dayana Legra). Oh, what a wonderful beginning to Cuban filmmaker’s Jorge Molina’s truly fucked-up tale and spin on a children’s classic, Little Red Riding Hood.

 

Dayana Legra as the sexually-flirtatious Miranda

Not only is there rape and incest in this very unique and dark film, but also there is The Cagueiro, a man or creature of sorts that kills to steal and hides its soul from others (or something to that nature). At times during the film, such as in the beginning scene when Dolores is raped by her husband whom dies from all the intense cardio he is conducting while doing the act, we get to see only the red eyes of the creature/man hiding in the woods. The film has a structured narrative, a story that one can follow, but there are just so many scenes of lust, perversions, and at times, violence and gore that whether one knows what is going on or gets confused in the story, it does not matter. The film is fun to watch confused by the plot or not.

 

So in between the grandmother now trying to throw Miranda, Dolores, and Dully off of her land since her son has died and she hates everyone and everything one also gets to have fun watching the exploits of Miranda flirting and seducing her Uncle Inocencio, whom is looking out for Dolores and her kids. The film is so bizarre and odd. Not only is Miranda trying to seduce her Uncle, but her brother (whom resembles Jesus Christ with his long hair, beard, and tattered robe) enjoys going to the river while the women are washing clothes because after they finish their laundry they strip down to nothing and playfully frolic in the brown and muddy muck, splashing water at each other in a scene that could have been taken right out of a Jess Franco sexploitation flick or even one of the more sexually explicit Joe D’Amato excursions. The film has so many scenes that are voyeuristic in style and substance that maybe Molina could have a very decent career making soft-core porn flicks that have a base in arty storylines and with nicely captured scenes shot.

Wait folks! Things have not gotten bizarre enough yet, so lets throw some Satanism into the mix of things because the incest, rape, full-frontal nudity with tons of thick, dark bush may be getting to mundane for some viewers. Also, let’s not forget one scene in the film that animal lovers and members of PETA may go up in arms over, as well as one film festival from across the pond in the U.K. that was forced to remove Molina’s FEROZZ: THE WILD RED RIDING HOOD from its list of films being viewed. Apparently the film had one particular scene that really violated the community’s standards. The aforementioned scene involves a pre-pubescent Miranda (We know this because the actress Dayana Legra has her bush trimmed down very short so she looks as though she is just starting to grow some pubic hair around her lips but in later scenes she is sporting some major afro-bush!) using a little puppy to lick her vagina all over so she can masturbate in bed. It is not a fake animal or a stuffed animal that she is holding and moving around all over her snatch. It is a real live dog that is really licking her lower regions while she rubs herself. Oh, her grandmother did not find this amusing whatsoever. In fact, I was hoping that there would be even more boundaries broken with a little “Grannie-rapes-granddaughter-and-pops-her-cherry” but I feel Molina just felt like holding back. He settled with a spanking, that when bare bottomed always seems to be erotic in some way.

 

I am also thinking there are no rules to what kinds of sexual perversions will be shown in the film, or what levels of nudity. In one scene, Dully is shown pissing on a package of meat for some kind of witchcraft or satanic ritual. His penis is shown as urine flows freely from it. I am not sure on the rules of what can and can’t be shown in the film, but I am pretty sure I have only ever seen Golden Shower-esque scenes of that sort in something put out by HUSTLER and not in a non-XXX film. I considered myself lucky to be privy to all this artfully, raunchy fun!

 

Another really cool scene, sort of on the darker side, but very realistic to what actually happens to a satanic curse or ritual in witchcraft is the scene where Inocencio has a live goat strung up and hanging from the ceiling, while candles are lit and a bloody skull sits atop a table, and there is a man lying face down (well, chest down because I think his head has been decapitated) while whom I believe to be Inocencio, is covered in blood. Also, it sounds like a human is making goat noises, but I may be wrong on that.

 

One thing I also noticed is that Molina has no soundtrack or musical score of any kind. I thought this was pretty unique and cool. It is not the first movie I have seen with no music, but it added a different sort of element to viewing the film. There was no cue towards suspense, terror, or any sort of emotional responses that having a musical score generally triggers. It was different. I can’t imagine watching JAWS without John Williams’ legendary duhhh-duh when the giant shark is coming in for a kill or no iconic piano score from John Carpenter in HALLOWEEN, but in FEROZZ, not having a soundtrack to the film did not really hurt it. In fact, it really just left the whole affair up for interpretation. The viewer gets to decide what scenes are going to be given more impact or not.

 

Director Jorge Molina, a fan of horror films himself, studied cinema in the USSR and at the International School of Film and Television (EICTV) in Cuba. He specialized in direction. He has some arty films and well as Z-grade films and is also the director of the cult film CULPA, which is regarded as one of the most widely exhibited film thesis in the history of EICTV, in Cuba and abroad. Molina has directed and written ten films, as well as acted in 22 movies. I am only mentioned some of the biography and accomplishments of Molina to reiterate that fact that I love when respected and accomplished filmmakers decide to push the envelope on what is deemed as decent and moral. I applaud Molina for portraying incest, rape, violence, witchcraft, bestiality, and gore in his incredibly unique and disturbing take on Little Red Riding Hood.

 

I highly recommend seeing FEROZZ: THE WILD RED RIDING HOOD, making sure the version one seeks out is uncut, and see just how far art and expression can take a viewer. If I had my films divided up by specific unique categories, I most certainly would place Molina’s FEROZZ on the shelf that already has A SERBIAN FILM and THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE sitting on it (not that either of those films are similar in plot and content other than they are profoundly disturbing, unique, and morbidly beautiful all at the same time). Seek out Molina’s FEROZZ and see just how unique, beautiful, and ugly a film can be all at the same time. Head over to One-Eyed Films to find out more about more cool films they have in their catalog!

 

 


REVIEW: KILLER YACHT PARTY (2006)

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Troma Films, known for their low-brow toilet humor blended in with low-budget indie schlock “classics” such as THE TOXICAVENGER, CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH SURF NAZIS MUST DIE, as well as distributing some solid cult-like entries in the sleaze market such as Joel M. Reed’s BLOODSUCKING FREAKS, we now have some modern-day films from Troma. As a young teenager, the company Troma meant T&A and gore, mixed with crude humor and I guess as a young prepubescent boy-I was ok with that. Now, grown up a little more (and I stress “little”), I need a bit more than flashes of boobies, some fart/toilet humor, and uber-cheesy gore and blood.

With KILLER YACHT PARTY, the feature debut of Piotr Uzarowicz, I believe Troma Films is still putting out some films that are more in line with the word “horrible” than “horrorfying”. In fact, I actually was a bit surprised that KILLER YACHT PARTY was not as bad as I thought it would be. The plot of the film revolves around a core group of douchebags that are only into the club scene and what it entails-getting drunk and getting laid. I used to work at a nightclub and it seemed that everyone associated with it just wanted to party every night, score with the hot ladies (or guys, depending on one’s preference), and either sell drugs at the venue or for promoters-make tons of money at the door and on liquor sales. This film throws in the mix a club on a yacht that has a haunted history, and a murderer racking up a body count.

One of the more interesting scenes in the film

The film is, essentially, a slasher film on a yacht. Oh yeah, and it advertises Kate Luyben is in it from TRUE BLOOD. Luyben was in two episodes of TRUE BLOOD in 2010, but I guess because she really was not in many other television or horror movies, this is the route to go in the ad campaign to get folks to want to check it out. Granted, this film is listed in IMDb as having been made in 2006, and then picked up by Troma about five years later (and 4 years after Lubyen was in TRUE BLOOD), this is really the only drawing aspect to me wanting to see this film, aside from the promise of “busty, hot girls” getting “butchered. Well, on this point, the film sort of delivers.

There are some very hot girls in this film—ya know, the plastic, fake kind that have had plastic surgery to get perfect noses, cheek bones, and tits. Also, most of these ladies look as though they wouldn’t know how to cook a microwave dinner, but then these are the girls that most viewers enjoy seeing slashed and gutted. I know I love when the spoiled, hot, rich girl gets it by the ugly, maniacal killing psychopath!

Becky Boxer and Maggie Marion

So, the club promoters, Brock (Eric Clark) and Monica (Kate Luyben) have set up this yacht party and Lacy (Becky Boxer) and Jane (Maggie Marion) who were at an event the club promoters were throwing the night (or week) before, get an exclusive invitation to attend this yacht party. Of course, the film tries to throw in some mysterious and odd characters to throw the audience off into not really figuring out for sure who the killer was, but after watching the film, it becomes fairly obvious who, or what, has been killing off everyone on the boat (oops, plot spoiler). Yeah, the film has quite a bit of murders and killing throughout most of the film. This would be a good thing, except that the murders are pretty straight-forward and really lack the creativity in how the victims are picked off one by one, which I think is an important aspect in truly making a solid slasher film. In all of the Friday the 13th films, Jason, or his mother, or a revenge-driven paramedic-they all have very fun and creative ways that the killer takes out his victims. It is one of the only reasons that I watch and enjoy slasher films, aside from the usual large amounts of gratuitous nudity from very attractive “actresses” (some of which are only cast for their screaming ability and luscious bodies), but it is, nonetheless, a valid reason.

KILLER YACHT PARTY lacks any type of imagination in the kill-scene department. Sometimes it is hard to think of new ways to kill a human being aboard a boat. There are only so many ways one can die, especially on a boat and there have been boatloads (pun intended!) of movies that have had victims dispatched on a boat. Therefore, why not at least have the full murder scene shown instead of dicing it up with annoying edits, spots of black screen breaking up the full murder. I guess that is the only way I know how to describe the edits when murder scenes occur. There are cuts in the middle of the murders where black nothing appears, almost as if the scenes were being cut and censored by the MPAA, but that is not the case because the film does not even have a rating on it.

The scenes of blood and little gore could have been done a bit better and would have looked better if there weren’t annoying editing spots tossed in during most of the murders. The scenes that were not shown, such as a girl lying on the floor with shards of a broken mirror stuck in her face and the rest of her body in random placement, were just after-shots of murders and usually were sub-par in the special effects department.

The gore and blood within this film is not up to par, but the acting in the film was not quite as bad as I thought it would be. Granted, many of the names in the film have been in small roles here and there or uncredited in some of the films they were in, but I felt that the D-List actors and actresses in the film did have some acting ability and gave the film a status that was a notch or two above an uber-low budgeted film that not only had extremely low production values, but also talentless bodies running through the scenes without any grace or purpose.

The plot directs viewers into the mystique of a woman that died on the boat and is believed to be haunting it, as well as having a creepy old guy taking care of the boat and also its captain. Then we have another old creepy guy, sort of like the old man’s character in the first few FRIDAY THE 13TH movies, warning the horny, playful teenagers and camp counselors that Crystal Lake was doomed and everyone that sets foot on the grounds will die. This old creepy guy in KILLER YACHT PARTY hangs around the docks and just acts creepy, as well as giving a lift to an unwanted drug dealer that was banned from attending the party, as well as the club promoters’ events. The film tries to confuse viewers into thinking one or several other characters or a ghost is doing the killing.

Is KILLER YACHT PARTY a ‘whodunnit murder mystery’ or just a less than good example of a slasher film? I would tend to lean towards the latter as the murders throughout the entire film don’t really conclusively lead towards any one particular character, especially when the only part of the murderer we see is black rubber gloves, which we see past the halfway point. The sad fact is that we don’t see any killing occur until almost an hour into the movie, a movie that is less than 90 minutes in duration. I guess, technically, there is one murder in the first 15 minutes, but we don’t actually see it but assume the victim is killed by her scream.

The hour leading up to the murders is boring dialogue intended to build up the characters and give them some depth, but unfortunately the characters are about as deep as a puddle after a light rain. It would a totally different matter if all the blood and gore towards the end of the film was over-the-top and incredible and made the tedious wait until the action started all be worth it, but that is definitely not the case. The wait is in vain.

KILLER YACHT PARTY is not the worse low-budget, indie film to come out on the market, but it is dismally close to being thrown in that category. I think this film is one that is normally not Troma material, as it is kind of light on the sleaze, nudity, and gore- all components of a fun Troma film. I also wonder about the reasons for the film being made in 2006 and being picked up by Troma almost five years later. It seems that this film is one that could have been passed up.

Heavy amounts of gore and nudity, as well as showing all the murders and not cutting parts out with lame editing techniques that make the scenes look as though they were censored, could have been the only saving grace this film had. Instead, I just felt that KILLER YACHT PARTY was a tedious waste of nearly 90 minutes that I could have passed up on and spent my time watching another movie.

I found the commentary, conducted by director Piotr Uzarowicz and writer Alex Silver to be far more interesting and engaging than the film itself. Aside from that, there is only a trailer for the film, as well as a slew of other Troma Team releases. I dug the cover of the movie, though. I wish the cover lived up to the content of the film and had as much blood within.

KILLER YACHT PARTY fails to stay afloat as a slasher film that holds any sort of merit in the genre. My advise is to pass up this lackluster slasher film and instead, rent some of the classics from the ’80s that defined the genre.


REVIEW: NIGHTMARES a.k.a. STAGE FRIGHT (1980)

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When I popped in Nightmares and started watching it, I was expecting a standard slasher film that was going to offer nothing new in terms of violence, blood, and the usual frights and scares that films from this genre are usually known to offer. But then I looked the film up and realized it was categorized in the Australian exploitation category known as Ozploitation. After viewing Mark Hartley’s Not Quite Hollywood, of which Nightmares is mentioned quite a few times in, I knew that I was going to be in for something quite a bit different and possibly far uniquer than most of the American slasher films I have seen in my time.

I was right, but also wrong. The film is definitely unique but I am not sure if always for the right reasons. Australian director John Lamond takes a bizarre approach to directing this fully-restored print of the very graphic giallo-like thriller that Nightmares comprises of. The film blends aspects of the American slasher genre with many core components of the Italian giallo genre in one mind-blowing perverse oddity. I throw perverse in the mix because there is a fair bit of nudity and sexual situations throughout the film.

Nightmares a.k.a. Stage Fright starts off in peculiar manner, one of which that totally baffled me at first viewing. I actually had to go back and watch the first fifteen minutes several times before I understood the first few flashback scenes made sense. In the beginning of the film we go back to January of 1963 and are privy to a young girl whom wakes up in the middle of the night, probably due to a bad nightmare (hence the title), and opens to the door to her mother’s bedroom and catches her in the act of lovemaking with a man. We are not shown the two copulating individuals faces or told who they are. I assumed they were the girl’s mother and father, but maybe that is not so. Then we move forward to a month later where the little girl (I am assuming the same little girl) is getting in to a car with her mother and a man, presumably her father, saying goodbye to his wife and daughter. The mother is about to drive off and the little girl wakes up in the back seat wrapped in a blanket.

The mother says, “I thought you were asleep.” The father tells his wife that he will see her in a couple of days once he can get away. At this point I am kind of confused as to whom the lovemaking individuals were, if the two girls that were shown on screen were the same girls, and if the man saying goodbye is the woman’s husband. The car with the girl and mother drive off and the next scene the woman (I think its the same woman whom I believe is the mother of the girl who had the nightmare, saw her mom and (possibly) father having sex in the film’s first scene) is driving the car while a man and groping and rubbing her inner thigh and crotch. Sadly, we are shown a view of the scene from the chest down and don’t get to see the hornballs’ faces. The girl wakes up, yells at the man (whom I now believe is not her father or anyone else’s) to leave her mother alone (ok, it is, in fact, the girl’s mother) and grabs her mom, causing her to lose control of the car and not notice a vehicle parked in the middle of the road (appearing to be empty) and crashes into it. At first viewing, I thought the parked car was the one with the little girl and her mother because the prior scene did not show them having driven away yet and I was not sure if the two scenes with the little girl were in fact the same girl. The beginning scenes of this film really confused the hell out of me and after watching those scenes more than several times I concluded that the young child was the same character in every scene she was in and that the mother was cheating on her husband with one or more men and that the young daughter did not approve of this infidelity. Sometimes giallos can be so confusing to me if I don’t pay very close attention. I can recall how many times I have had to re-watch specific scenes or portions of these films more than one time.

Another part of giallos that are part of their style that sometimes bewilder me are the incessant flashbacks and confusing plot-lines. Nightmares was one of those such films that initially confused me so much that I was almost debating on whether to attempt to sort the film out and even write up a review of it. I finally decided that I was going to watch the damn movie until the beginning sequence of events made sense…or until I could kid myself into believing it made sense.

Now, the somewhat confusing introductory scenes of Nightmares have concluded. The viewer learns through statements made by the man that was messing around with the little girl’s mother (the result of the accident was that the mother flew threw the windshield and with the help of her daughter moving her body her neck was slashed upon the jagged broken windshield glass) that the little girl caused the accident and killed her mother by dragging her neck across the glass. This fact was conveyed to us through some barely audible off-screen comments by what appeared to doctors or medical officials. More utter confusion.

We fast-forward to present times and what looks to be this messed-up child grown-up is none other than actress Jenny Neumann portraying Helen Selleck. Neumann is best known for her role in another slasher film, notably more popular and well-known than this film, Hell Night. Now, as an adult, Helen is trying out for a role in a theater production. She gets the part but when told of the good news she is less than thrilled. I guess that may be because she has traumatic flashbacks and nightmares frequently, some of which occur while she is awake, and also seems to talk to herself most of the time and in another voice. I think that this is what schizophrenics’ exhibit. I think a schizophrenic wrote the story because I found confusion clouded this story just as much as fog masks the city of London regularly.

Jenny Neumann as the headcase Helen Selleck

The rest of the film is full of point-of-view shots as cast members and crew of the production of the theater play are killed off in bloody and gory fashion one-by-one. Many of which are murdered during sex or in the process of having just had sex. The slasher book of rules citing that fornicating and sex go hand in hand with getting carved up by a sharp knife or tool definitely apply here in this film. I would say this film threw that rule into effect the same year that the American slasher film Friday the 13th did in their but can’t say for sure if anyone really copied this rule from one or the other. Hell, Anthony Perkins slashed up the beautiful Janet Leigh in Hitchcock’s Psycho during the infamous shower scene which is one of the earliest examples of sexuality and slaughter going in hand-in-hand (along with Powell’s Peeping Tom which some argue is the first true slasher film of the genre even though both came out in the same year so who’s to say?). Contrary to what I have written, overall I really did enjoy this Ozploitation slasher-giallo flick.

Part of the enjoyment was due to quirky lines of dialogue that had me cracking up at their absurdity. For instance, when Helen has a flashback of some victims whom were recently murdered from the set of the play, she starts cackling and crying at the same time, of which I was not sure if it was more laughter or crying that I heard when all of a sudden a fellow cast member slaps her hard in the face as all the cast and crew stare at her in disbelief. Helen instantly blurts out,

You bitch! You fucking bitch! I can do whatever I want, you hear?! You can’t stop me!” and runs off.

The girl that slaps her simply replies, “She’s mad…”.

There were quite a few scenes such as this one that only would elicit a reaction of laughter more than anything else. I found myself laughing more often than not and having quite a fun time doing so. The director within the film, actor Max Phipps, was a total douchebag and gave one of the better performances within the film. He played George D’alberg, director of the play, and was relentless as the know-it-all judge of talent even though the eminent critic, Bennett Collingswood portrayed by John Michael Howson, considered his work to be a pile of crap. The film centers around the crew squabbling with each other and Helen (Neumann) and Terry Besanko falling for each other romantically.

The film has many cool sequences and an excellent soundtrack courtesy of composer Brian May, known as one of the best film music composers in the history of Australian Cinema. May, whom has created the music for Mad Max, The Road Warrior, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, Road Games, and Patrick, composes another soundtrack that gives the listener chills as it perfectly matches the insanity of the flashbacks throughout the film and the atmosphere-heavy sequences during artful murders filled with nudity and creative edits most notably familiar in Italian giallos. Several times I was reminded of one of my favorite Italian directors, Dario Argento, and his earlier work with directing giallos. Several scenes depicted within the film in which the murderer raises shards of glass instead of the usual butcher knife are so reminiscent of Argento’s style. The weapon, in this case piece of glass, is raised- catching the moonlight and shining artfully in the night, just before striking down into the victim and causing a stream of blood to run down the poor soul’s skin. This occurs several times within the film and it never gets old with me. It is standard giallo slashing. I love it.

Nightmares incorporates all the familiar elements of slasher films and the style of giallo, just sometimes in a confusing manner and fashion. I think the style of the film really pushes this movie into being unique among a plethora of movies coming out that same year. Maybe it has something to do with being an Australian film made by an Australian director and their styles being somewhat unique and different than both Italian directors of giallo films and American directors of slasher films- or maybe not. I do know that the film was overall entertaining, easily predictable once the opening sequences conclude, and only somewhat annoying that every murder is show POV and, at times, with little to zero light. Why couldn’t the director throw in some more lights during some of the night scenes? It would have made the movie much easier to view and not take too much from the overall atmosphere of the picture. Besides those minor points, I was thoroughly entertained with Nightmares. It is not the best slasher-giallo-Ozploitation film out there, but it certainly is better than a fair amount of them. I felt that it was a fair entry to the slasher genre from our friends down under.


RELEASE: More nudity, violence, and gore in grindhouse-style slasher flick

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I have already seen Frat House Massacre (2008) and had the luxury of experiencing it on a huge screen at the Portage Theater in July of 2009 at a Horror Society event (a site I used to write for) in Chicago. I enjoyed the film, primarily due to the style and large amount of nudity, gore, and a phenomenal soundtrack by Claudio Simonetti (of Goblin fame). I am happy to be able to revisit this film once again and see if I still have the same affection for it as I did two years ago. Check back for my thoughts on this film once I have reviewed the dvd release of it from Synapse Films.

Frat House Massacre
DVD
Label: Synapse Films
SRP: 19.95
Run Time: 116 Minutes In English
Color Widescreen 1.78:1 Region One Dolby Digital 5.1

Director: Alex Pucci
Stars: Rane Jameson, Chris Prangley, Jon Fleming
Production year: 2008


From the creators of CAMP SLAUGHTER comes FRAT HOUSE MASSACRE, a true homage to the best of the late 70’s grindhouse and early 80’s slasher films! Sean (Chris Prangley) and his little brother Bobby (Rane Jameson) thought joining the Delta Iota Epsilon fraternity would be the best time of their lives with parties, freedom, girls and sex. The fraternity president Mark (Jon Fleming of TVs WILL & GRACE and DANTEíS COVE), however, is a little strange. His twisted hazing rituals include extreme physical and mental torture that lead the boys down a horrific path of destruction and death. But death may be just the beginning, as this gritty twisted film unfolds. Inspired by actual events and set in the year 1979, FRAT HOUSE MASSACRE is a disturbing journey through the twisted world of fraternity boys, pledges and the not-so-innocent sorority sisters swept up in their madness. Loaded with violence, gore, nudity and a fantastic music score by Claudio Simonetti, this DVD is the director’s cut containing over twenty minutes of additional footage.

Bonus features include: Director’s Commentary, Crew Commentary, Deleted Scenes, “Making Of” Featurette.

SOURCE: Synapse Films


RELEASES: Some Swedish sin from Impulse Pictures!

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Impulse Pictures brings us some Swedish sinsationalism in the form of Christina Lindberg in her last starring role in the film WIDE OPEN. Below are the details of the dvd release, including a brief ploy synopsis. August is definitely going to be one hot month! Be sure to check back with Shu’s review and whether it is a film worth beating off to or just a one foreign hot mess!

Run Time: 102 Minutes In English Color
Widescreen Anamorphic 1.66:1 Region One Dolby Digital Mono

Director: Gustav Wiklund
Stars: Christina Lindberg, Solveig Andersson

Production year: 1975


Christina Lindberg and Solveig Andersson met before in the violent cult-classic Thriller: A Cruel Picture and Swedish Wildcats. They meet yet again in Wide Open, Lindberg’s last starring role in a feature film! Taxi driver Paul and his beautiful journalist girlfriend Marianne have a strained relationship. Things get crazy when Paul brings his drunken father back to their apartment. As tensions between the two lovebirds rise, they decide to chill out at a wild movie party and things go from bad to worse (for Marianne anyway) when they both wake up in bed together with Marianne’s sister, Beryl! Marianne leaves, so Paul decides to spend some time watching strippers and taking Beryl along for some nighttime fun. Everything is going great, until Beryl gets picked up by the evil Mr. X and things turn dangerous. A stolen mink coat, drugs, and violent sex games lead Paul and Beryl to confront Mr. X during the film’s perverse stag party climax!

Chock full of nudity and sex, Wide Open is a must for all fans of sexy Swedish sin-ema!

Bonus features include: Trailers, Interview with Christina Lindberg and Director Gustav Wiklund, Photo Gallery

SOURCE: Impulse Pictures


REVIEW: BLOODLUST ZOMBIES (2011)

Bloodlust-Zombies-Cover

For those of you who are semi-avid fans of adult films, or even just peruse youporn.com, youjizz.com, or one of the other many sites on the internet that offers clips of free porn varying in length and quality-you probably have heard of or have unknowingly watched a clip of Alexis Texas and that bubbly, beautiful ass that generally would not be on the rear of a blonde Caucasian girl hailing from-you guessed it-Texas. Alexis Texas, porn star found from the makers of the adult film series Shane’s World while working at a bar in October of 2006, first got her start in Shane’s World’s College Amateur Tour in Texas. From there she went on to work in some Bang Bros. productions, then on to L.A. to work in the adult film industry full-time.

Alexis Texas doing what she does best...

Alexis Texas (real name Thea Alexis Samper) will not be the first porn-star whom has thrown on some clothes (more attire than is usually required) and given a shot at acting in a low-budget, or even big-budget horror film. I don’t mind porn stars taking a stab at acting in horror films, as long as they do what they are known for and good at- removing some clothing at some point during the movie because let’s be honest-Most of them cannot act worth a lick! If the scene in the film does not involve a strip tease of some sort or a steamy sex scene- viewers may be in for a very bumpy ride while dialogue is painstakingly delivered. Luckily, viewers of Bloodlust Zombies will get some Alexis Texas nudity, some sexy removal of clothing, and plenty of sexual innuendo all tossed in the mix with vulgar humor and zombies munching human flesh. Horror flicks paired with porn stars seems to be a trend that Breaking Glass Pictures and its sister horror label Vicious Circle Films has started to fall into. Granted, as far as I know, it is only their 2nd film to star an adult film sensation (Tori Black in Half Moon was their 1st, I believe), but throwing an adult star in the cast of a low-budget horror flick will only enhance its nudity factor, if even that.

one of the more bloodier scenes with that awful blood

Our story’s plot revolves around a military weapons manufacturer that has created a chemical that, when injected into animals such as the facility’s lab cat, the creature is turned into an aggressive, homicidal, carnivorous, zombie-like, killing machine. While the head honcho at the facility is banging what seemed to be just the secretary, accidentally broadcasting the hump-o-thon over the phone’s intercom service, the scientists accidentally knock over the vials of infected blood, breaking some of them all over the floor of the secured bio-hazard workspace.

zombies or strippers?

Thinking the lab is secured, the scientists get infected by the cat and from here on out-it’s your standard low-budget, direct-to-video. lackluster zombie flick. Yeah, another zombie flick. To be honest with everyone, I am totally fu**ing sick of zombies. I think that they have been commercialized beyond belief and have already saturated the horror market. The last zombie film that really moved me and had me thinking I was watching a movie first and a zombie film second was Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later, which many will argue is not even a traditional zombie flick. I really don’t see what else one can do to spice up the genre, besides doing what director/writer Dan Lantz did and throw a porn star into the mix. Well, having Alexis Texas in the film may have just generated some buzz with those familiar with the adult film industry or peak the interest of those hoping to glimpse some steamy sex scenes or gratuitous nudity, but for a seasoned veteran of the horror genre Bloodlust Zombies was more of the same done with a halfheartedly.

plenty of these to go around in the film

I was hoping there would be a bit of eye-candy to take away from the run-of-the-mill plot and less than acceptable CGI and low-budget special effects, which there was, but aside from that the only thing going for this movie was a bit of sexually-laced humor from one of the film’s more obnoxious characters, Darren (Adam Danoff), who as one of the employees at the company was thrown in the film as one of the many characters to provide comic-relief. The film definitely had more moments of humor, whether intended or not, than it did horror, scares, or gore.

Bloodlust Zombies was about as good as a film generally gets that has a porn star with top billing, a no-name cast besides Alexis Texas and her impressive porn career (as well as cast in Fred Olen Ray’s Bikini Frankenstein), and a next to nothing budget. The film was far less painful to watch than I had previously thought it to be. Thankfully, the movie moved along at a pretty quick pace, only dragged on a few times and that was mostly because the dialogue delivered was going on a bit too long for anyone to take seriously or find much humor in. The cliche sexual references were ever present and there were scarce moments of genuine acting and only a small amount of scenes of gore that are barely worth mentioning.

apparently zombies strip their tops off before craving flesh

One aspect of the movie that I could not get past was the recipe for fake blood that was used. I could not take it seriously. The color was lighter than most films’ scenes with blood and almost had a brightness to it. I really thought the crew was using some kind of paint, as it almost had a pinkish-tinge to it. The film was not only light on the gore, but when victims were bit and flesh was ripped off it looked as though the crew was trying to conserve the latex used for flesh being torn off. The horribly colored blood was also used sparingly during scenes in which the zombies tore flesh off from the victims’ necks.

Don't worry, Alexis-the film is almost over

Two things can somewhat save these type of low-budget, no-name horror flicks-wanton gore and nudity. I have never looked for high-caliber acting or an intriguing plot with these types of films-so work with what ya got. On some levels, director Dan Lantz did. He had a porn star and he gave her some scenes of nudity and portrayed her as sexually charged-up, but then digresses by having a fellow co-worker who showed an evident dislike for her go on a righteous speech on how Andrea (Texas) is a bright, young woman and should not be chasing after a man because he is older, rich and powerful-but instead fall for a man that loves her for her intellect and independence, as well as her beauty. Ok, Oprah Winfrey, enough with the feminism and lets get back to point of the film- to be entertained by some blood and guts. Oh wait, I forgot that there really was not any of those aspects within the film really worth mentioning.

an axe-wielding Alexis Texas

All in all, I really thought the film was going to be a far worse viewing than it was. It had high levels of cheesiness, that at times, were entertaining. The special effects were done with especially low-grade CGI and the organic effects were just a notch better than the digital ones (although I did kind of dig the finale with Texas which looked to be completely digital) and I did not hate this film. On some shameful level, I kind of had a soft spot in my rotting gut for it. I can’t really recommend the film, nor would I ever entertain the thought to purchase the movie (unless, of course, I was a completest for Alexis Texas flicks) but I can say it was a bad, low-budget film that was not agonizingly and painstakingly difficult to watch. Let’s not get this film confused with other films that are so bad they are good. Bloodlust Zombies does not fall into that category. I may have come to the point that I have seen so many bad, low-budget films that watching an Andy Sidaris action/spy film is becoming confused with watching a solid James Bond film. I am now going to go pop in Romero’s Night of the Living Dead so that I can remember what a great zombie film with minimal financial resources truly can turn out like.


REVIEW: Bleading Lady (2011)

Canadian-native Ryan Nicholson, indie horror film director and special make-up effects extraordinaire (which he may be better known for in the film industry), comes at indie horror fans with another low-budget film production starring well-known collaborator to Nicholson, actor Dan Ellis, in the film Bleading Lady a.k.a. Star Vehicle. I actually am not sure what the film’s name goes by right now-the screener I received is titled Bleading Lady, but when I interviewed Dan Ellis not too far back on my radio show, Ellis referred to his upcoming project as Star Vehicle. I looked up the word, bleading, and I came up with zero results because I was curious if it really was, in fact, a word, until I realized that the title is a play on words. The culmination of bleeding and leading due to the fact that the lead actress in Bleading Lady portrays a lead actress in a B-Horror film who is portraying a respected Scream Queen. She (Sindy Farguna playing Riversa Red) is going to get bloody, hence bleeding, as well as being the lead in the film’s production. Well, I believe I just made the explanation of the film FAR more complicated than it needed to be.

I have great respect for Nicholson and his craft, the craft of making indie horror films loaded with a great amount of gore, carnage, and usually a fair amount of gratuitous nudity. Unfortunately, with Nicholson’s latest, I felt that much of the aforementioned was absent. Not to say there was zero gore and nudity, but the amount of bloodshed relevant to the actual plot of the film itself and not the “movie within the movie” was a far cry from what I was expecting from Nicholson and his crew. It pains me to say this, but when I hear that a new film from Ryan Nicholson is out, I expect the film to be extreme in nature and full of copious amounts of sex, nudity, vulgarity, and awesome gore. With Bleading Lady, I felt the film fell short in all areas and instead attempted to create a dialogue-plagued, whodunit-style, drama that focused on Dan Ellis’ character, Donald Q. Cardini, whom I felt did not have the depth as a character to keep one interested in watching as the main focus for the duration of the film. Sadly, I was bored with the lack of action going on during the film.

Dan Ellis as Don Q. Cardini

Nicholson is at his best when the levels of raunchy nudity, explosive gore, and the plot moves along at a speedy and swift pace. Unfortunately, Bleading Lady lacked the aforementioned characteristics of his films at the amount I generally enjoy them to come in. The film takes a well-known scenario involving a group of indie filmmakers making a B-Horror film who have to deal with a stalker that has taken a particular liking to the lead Scream Queen of the film. Cardini, the driver for the cast and crew of the film’s production, has a raging hard-on for Ms. Riversa Red and has decided to make it his duty to see that no one inflicts any harm or distress to her throughout the movie. Of course, Cardini’s (Ellis) love for the actress goes beyond a natural obsession and infatuation and ultimately leaves viewers wondering if Cardini is the actual stalker, a crazy fan, or a jealous crew member working on the film. I believe that the less than stellar performances from much of the cast, sadly including the lead actor Dan Ellis, could have been overlooked if there had been far more gore and titillation to distract viewers and keep them entertained. If a film is going to have fair amount of dialogue between actors and actresses, it had better be interesting and delivered decent. I was getting low-budget performances from a low-budget production. Sadly, the scenes being filmed for the “fake” film within Bleading Lady (which happened to be atrociously performed on purpose), were not much more awful than the scenes shot for the actual movie.

The fault in the film is its seriousness. There were too many scenes that were meant to be dramatic, tender, and filled with a little bit of care and emotion-WRONG! This viewer did not care about the relationships developed (on a mediocre level, I might add) between the various cast members and crew working on the phony film. This film is not going to work with a sappy romantic interlude anywhere in it- it is going to work with obnoxiously crude humor, vulgarity, action, and loads of gore and over-the-top violence. Nicholson knows no other way. Leave the stupid dramas with tender scenes of affection and emotional interludes to the professionals who thrive at doing so on a daily basis, thus making the kinds of films that I loathe and rarely find any point in watching. The music throughout the film, courtesy of Gianni Rossi, was absolutely horrendous! I felt that the soundtrack of the film was, quite possibly, the most annoying aspect to the whole film. It made every scene feel incredibly cheesy somehow. The music really belonged in a bad, ’70s porno film and not in a horror film. I believe that was the problem with the film- I just couldn’t tell if things were meant to be cheesy and unrealistic for comedic purposes or if there was any seriousness to this film at all. Sadly, if the entire production was tongue-in-cheek and supposed to be humorous, it failed miserably. I don’t think I chuckled once throughout the entire film.

Scream Queen Reversa Red as portrayed by Sindy Faraguna

The good points to the film were the gore and nudity- although the scenes of nudity were sparse (Faraguna got totally naked once if I recall correctly) and the gore that actually occurred in the film was for the faux-film and not actually for the real action. I usually find nothing good coming about films that have a film created within it. They tend to suck. Bleading Lady did not completely suck, but based on the last couple of films I have seen from Nicholson (Gutterballs, Hanger), I was thoroughly disappointed. I think that if Dan Ellis and Sindy Faraguna were not the lead characters in this film, it would have been a total bomb. I think Dan Ellis has generally been strongest actor in the few Nicholson films I have been privy to and it was the case again, but Ellis did not have too much to work with in terms of dialogue delivered. The film was written by Nicholson, as well as directed, and the dialogue could have been a bit more realistic and there should have been far less of it. The film lacked an overall intensity that should have been present as scenes were delivered.

By the end of the film, I really could care less who the stalker was and what his or her reasons were for stalking the Riversa Red. Mass suicide by all characters in the film at its conclusion would have been acceptable to me at this point. I am more-so interested in Nicholson’s upcoming Grindhouse-throwback feature Famine. The trailer for Famine was far more interesting than the whole film Bleading Lady was. Sadly, I think fans of Ryan Nicholson’s films are going to be very disappointed with Bleading Lady.


REVIEW: Paula, Paula (2010)


Jess Franco, the master of Eurosleaze and at times, ultra-boredom, is back again with a brand new film. Seriously, Franco does not and will not stop making films until he is six feet under and even after that happens, it still may be questionable because I think he still may be able to pull off making just one more independent pile of incoherent and incomprehensible shit. The one redeeming value that all of Franco’s films have is a boatload of nudity and mild to ultra-spicy perverted delicacies. I give the man credit-he is one hell of a perverted bastard that is after my own heart because every one of his films manages to bombard the aural senses with atmospheric original scores complemented with breasts, bush, and buttocks-the three glorious “B”‘s of sleezy filmmaking. When I watch a film by Jess Franco, as slow, incomprehensible, or ridiculously annoying as it may be I always have one absolute given in the Franco equation of creating art through cinema: B-ush + B-reasts + B-ooty=Absolute SHU-IZMZ!

Carmen Montes as Paula

Now lets get to the “plot” of the film which is about as loose as some of the actresses starring in it based on the scenes within Paula-Paula that I viewed. The story of the film centers around an exotic dancer named Paula (Paula Davis) who has been murdered. Her lover, also named Paula (Carmen Montes of Franco’s Snakewoman) is the prime suspect. If one watched the first ten minutes which really was where most of the plot originates, you generally got the idea that Alma Pereira, played by the once jaw-dropping gorgeous Lina Romay, is a detective or cop of some sort. She is packing a pistol and is acting like a hard-ass in the opening scene so I am guessing that she is a detective, as they generally have that tough-guy and veteran demeanor about themselves. From this point on what happens afterward is really up for interpretation. The film is tagged as an “audio-visual experience” and this may prove to be the one solid statement one can say about the film and that would be giving the criticism a positive spin to it because, honestly, I really could not wait for the short 67 min. feature to be fucking over.

Paula-on-Paula action

This film could not have been much more of a mind-fuck than if Salvador Dali himself got together with Helen Keller and decided to use her as the director of photography and have William S. Burroughs and Timothy Leary get together while peaking on acid to write the script and have Dali direct. The film was that abstract and bizarre, yet filled with an abundance of nudity, sexuality, and a really exceptional jazz soundtrack. I really have to thank Franco for scoring the film with some very good Jazz by the infamous Austrian pianist/composer Friedrich Gulda. I have never heard of this composer but upon looking him up he is very well-known, passed away in 2000, and the parts of the soundtrack that are not Jazz were written by Franco himself. For the record, the parts that are not Jazz performed by Gulda completely suck.

Lina Romay (right) as Alma Pereira

The film is supposed to be inspired by Jekyll & Hyde, but that is another aspect of this film that is up for interpretation. Hell, it’s like saying childbirth is inspired by Deep Throat. This humdinger of a film is one of the first films that the boys and girls over at InterVision Picture Corp. have put out on their new film label headed by Larry Gold, Sr., founder and CEO. Gold got his start in the film business back in the ’60s and was distributing films on VHS in the ’80s and was thought to be in retirement but I guess once you get your teeth sunk into these cool flicks, you really can never ever leave them. Thank goodness for those with the power to find rare and forgotten treasures (some more so treasures than others!), along with brand new “potential” treasures in the genres of film that are generally never allowed to see the light of day such as this Franco disaster. Depending on what one is expecting in a film, what I consider to be a waste of 67 minutes can very well be another viewer’s cinematic orgasm.

Generally what I find to be of much more interest in Franco’s films are the special features and InterVision packs the extras on. If one wants to hear Franco give his commentary on contemporary filmmaking, then one’s in luck for there is an introduction to the film by Jess Franco, running about 18 minutes in duration. I found Franco’s philosophy and artistic merits to be much more commendable than some of his flicks (this being one of them) and always am amazed how interesting and humorous the old guy can be. He may be nearing 82 years old but he still is just as horny and perverted as a teenager when one listens to him talk about movies, and life in general. Franco is a man after my own heart. In addition to talking about contemporary filmmaking, Franco also talks a little bit about Paula-Paula. I usually can appreciate a film more when I get a sense from the makers of the film what went into its production, but in the case of Paula-Paula, it didn’t really matter. I still did not care for the film much and was not appreciating the abstract vibe and trippy visuals rampant throughout. Paula-Paula is the notorious Jess Franco’s 209th film, a feat all its own. I am looking forward to seeing what Franco will create for its 210th film, if he is still around to make it. If he does stick around to make his 210th film, I really do hope he tries to make something completely different, but still loaded with sleeze and naked beauties because if that aspect were missing, I just do not think it would be a Jess Franco film!


REVIEW: RUN! BITCH RUN! (2009)


Run Bitch Run
, directed by Joseph Guzman and written by Guzman and Robert James Hayes II, is a pretty straight-forward revenge-rape tale in the tradition of Last House on the Left, I Spit on Your Grave, and other stories where the central plot of a girl and her pal going out to a town or area that is foreign to them and run into trouble of the worst possible kind. This time around, the two girls (Catherine and Rebecca) are religious nitwits that are trying to sell their bibles so they can get enough money to go on some religious retreat of sorts.

Does this plot sound like anything groundbreaking or original? NO. It is a story that has been reworked in one format or another many times.

Did I enjoy this film and find enough originality in it aside from the basic structure of the film? YES. This film was enjoyable to watch and strayed away from many of the cliche and annoying aspects from certain films that follow the rape-revenge formula.


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For one, the film has some very attractive women in it and they are not shy to nudity. If one is going to have a rape-revenge flick, there better be both of those things in it. Quite simple and it really adds to the effectiveness of the film and is good eye-candy for viewers. To portray rape, a film has to have nudity in it or it wont be a very believable rape scene. Director Guzman cast actresses Christina DeRosa (Rebecca) and Cheryl Lyone (Catherine), both of which are very beautiful and are nude in the film. That was a major plus for me in this type of film. There is full-frontal nudity and these actresses have killer bodies. Rape is a horrible thing to have happen and this film presents the rape scenes in a very gritty and realistic manner. There is no downplaying the events that happen in Run Bitch Runthe scenes are filmed in a very straight-forward manner in a simple manner that focuses on the act and does not water-down any parts of it. The scenes do not drag on forever either.


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Rebecca (Christina DeRosa) and Catherine (Cheryl Lyone) trying to sell some bibles

Another aspect of the film I enjoyed is that the director chose not to have meaningless or tediously unnecessary dialogue and random bullshit littered in between pivotal scenes in the movie. Some of these rape-revenge films have filler scenes with random and over-all boring chit-chat sprinkled in between scenes or action or violence. I find that totally unnecessary and extremely annoying. Kudos to the director for keeping the film concise and to the point. Movies like this really can drag on for the plot usually is quite simple. The protagonists of the film, Lobo (Peter Tahoe) , Clint (Johnny Winscher), and Marla (Ivet Corvea), were believable dirt-bags and each had a certain edge to them and distinct elements of individual character.


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Cheryl Lyone did a very convincing job of bible-thumping, goodie two-shoes turned revenge-driven, psycho-bitch. She really acted out a fine performance and stood out in the film. She has a very unique look to her in her facial features-she can come off as very innocent and naive as well as cold, calculating, and manipulative. I think that she was cast perfectly for the role of Catherine. I also was happy to see Daeg Faerch (Rob Zombie’s Halloween) have a small role in the film.

My only complaint with the film probably would be the soundtrack accompanying it. It truly annoyed the hell out of me. I feel the filmmakers were going for the ’70s look or feel in Run Bitch Run, reminiscent of the many grindhouse and exploitation films of that era which may explain why the music in the film was the way it was, but it did not do anything for me except annoy me and distract me from what was going on in front of the camera, although naked chicks running around kept me pretty attentive nonetheless.

Run Bitch Run is Joseph Guzman’s first film and I think he did a very good job on it. He has a new film Nude Nuns with Big Guns in post-production right now. Again, I am looking forward to seeing this flick based on the title alone and hope he will deliver the goods that the title suggests. Guzman may very well have a very promising career in the exploitation genre if he continues along this path. If he increases the level of blood and gore on his films, he very well may be one of the more enjoyable directors to watch for upcoming projects.Vicious Circle Filmshas obtained another film for their camp and it did not fail to entertain, titillate, and facilitate my needs for exploitation, horror, and sinful debauchery. I look forward to all future projects from director and production company.